Thursday, February 19, 2009

Prudence and Polyamory Grump Grump


Slate as a weekly article called Dear Prudence where people write in with questions. They usually receive a pretty crappy answer so I don't think they really expect to get anything meaningful in return. However, I am positive that they don't write in expecting to be judged, disrespected, mocked and insulted. 
A woman in a polyamorous relationship with a married couple wrote in asking for advice about dealing with the couples teenage children. Why she would choose this column to write into about sex is beyond me, this Prudence doesn't come across as the most knowledgeable in this area. She is in a loving relationship with two people who give their children all the love and support they need. She is also worried enough about these children and their feelings to write in to this bozo. I'd say that this is someone to be respected and given the best answer possible to an interesting question.
Of course this isn't what happens. What Prudence writes is incredibly sarcastic and hateful. There is no way she would have written this if the children were rebelling against a newly gay parent for example. The letter insinuates that instead of being in a relationship these people are all just in it for crazy sex.
They sound like complete downers who don't even understand the stimulating couplings and triplings that could take place when they have their friends sleep over...
It's too bad these rotten kids don't understand that their parents' need to fulfill their sexual appetites takes precedence over providing them a stable home.
Nowhere in the letter does it mention sex but of course thats all that happens in a polyamorous relationship.  No love or support or anything that goes on in a "normal" relationship.  She has no reason to think these people are having crazy loud sex while the children are home.  She also has no reason to think that these people put their sex lives over their childrens needs.  They are no more likely to do this than ordinary married couples.  The worst part:
before the friends' parents hear about this, and all of you end up explaining polyamory to social services
So now having an adult relationship makes you an unfit parent?  I guarantee Prudence has never met anyone in a polyamorous relationship or she wouldn't be making these hateful remarks.  This is the same way people responded to gay or interracial relationships in the past.  This woman should be fired for these hateful and discriminatory statements.

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