Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fabric Grump Grump

I was fabric shopping online to make myself a new coat since someone ate my old one. I found pretty awesome fabric with mustaches on it and got pretty excited.
It was listed as $9, which I thought was pretty expensive for quilting cotton, which they sell for like $3 at Jo-Anns. It is mustaches, I thought, maybe it's worth it. But no. The $9 was for a "fat quarter" not a yard. For a piece of fabric 18" by 21". It's $36 for a yard. You can get fancy silk from Mood for that price.
But Grumpdog, wouldn't a fat quarter be enough fabric for a coat for you? Fine, yes it would. But if you're going to make a coat, you then need to make the matching pants, gloves, hat. That takes fabric.
It's all too bad since it would have looked great with my new mustache.

Monday, January 26, 2009

SAG awards grump grump

I attended the Screen Actors Guild Awards last night, just like every year. I'm a very important member of the screen actors guild, most people don't remember but I've been in some pretty impressive commercials.
Notice in the background. Yeah, that's right, it's Crystal. Couldn't get in to walk the red carpet. Probably had to watch the show from the press room. That's what you get for eating the cat grass. I would have given you my extra ticket since Snowwhite is off promoting Paul Blart.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Storm Troopers Grump Grump


So Mitch went to Arisia this weekend, and not only did he not invite me but he took my Jedi costume! He claimed that it fit him better, without realizing that it was made for a bulldog - of course it looks like crap. Fit better my bum. Then to add insult to injury he took a picture of him with a storm trooper.

Yeah, I know I look great. I dare someone to say it doesn't fit.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Cat Grass Grump Grump

Mitch and Kristen got chia pet grass for Christmas that was clearly intended for all of the animals in the house. But did it go to all the animals? No, the stupid cat Crystal ate it all. She said that it was called cat grass and it was clearly only for cats. So not true. That's just the technical scientific name for it, it's intended for all small animals. Even more for bulldogs.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Vaccinations grump grump

I have a quick message to the parents in the New Jersey Coalition for Vaccination Choice from this article.
You do have a choice in the whether or not you vaccinate your own kids, just don't send them to school.  This way they might actually believe you when you tell them you saved them from getting autism.  The lack of education won't harm them as much as the crippiling preventable diseases and an early death will!  Enjoy the smallpox.

I'm Grumpier than normal.

Socks grump grump

Some people (cough cough Mitch) thought that in my post complaining about the person who currently has the grumpdog.blogspot blog I wrote that he blogged about socks instead of stocks.  How crazy does he think I am?  An entire blog devoted to socks would be amazing.  I myself am a huge fan of socks.

To illustrate just how useful a blog devoted to socks will be I give you these:

Cat socks!  Just imagine the versatility.  First they keep your feet warm.  Second you can use them assuage your cat "friends".  Imagine, oh yes kitty, we're just like you.  Come over and play, we'll let you knead on our heads.  That's when you pounce!  They'll never see it coming.  All of this just from socks.

Look how much you just learned from only one entry about socks.  Now just imagine what would happen if there were an entire blog!

Skin Grump Grump

It seems like just a few years ago I was a teen grumpdog, running around not worrying about skin elasticity, and now this.

That's all skin. Believe me I'm not fat. All I eat is pudding. Low - fat pudding. I pinched the skin, it stayed like that for 22 hours! That's bullshit, especially after paying all that money for the tummy tuck last year.
Grump grump grump. It's not fair that cats have all that fur to cover up their skin problems. Believe me, they have problems. You do not want to see a shaved Crystal. I think I'm now in the market for a fur coat.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Grumpdog Grump Grump

When I started this blog obviously I tried grumpdog.blogspot.com. Of course it was taken already. In the most annoying way. Go to the blog. It's 5 stupid posts about stocks. No one wants to read about stocks from 2005. First of all it's too depressing. Second of all I'm so much better it's not even funny. Delete your blog grumpdog, no one likes you!

Cats Grump Grump

I was taking my mid evening nap a few hours ago when I was woken up by something pressing on my head. Turned out to be Crystal, the stupid cat that lives with me. Too bad she can't be more like my girlfriend. She's a cat too but you don't see her walking all over people or pressing on their heads when they're just trying to nap. She just lays down next to you and takes a nap too. She'll even do tricks if she's in the mood. When's the last time Crystal did a trick?